**** BEGIN LOGGING AT Sun Oct 7 16:31:50 2012
Oct 07 16:31:50 * Now talking on #psychology
Oct 07 16:31:50 * Topic for #psychology is: Welcome to #psychology - http://psychologyirc.com/ - discussion, reflection and respectful debate about psychology. No sex, religion, suicide, or political talk
Oct 07 16:31:50 * Topic for #psychology set by zcrayfish at Thu Oct 4 00:38:08 2012
Oct 07 16:32:20 * chalcedny gives voice to superscipsyt
Oct 07 16:33:06 * Disconnected ().
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**** BEGIN LOGGING AT Sun Oct 7 17:22:12 2012
Oct 07 17:22:12 * Now talking on #psychology
Oct 07 17:22:12 * Topic for #psychology is: Welcome to #psychology - http://psychologyirc.com/ - discussion, reflection and respectful debate about psychology. No sex, religion, suicide, or political talk
Oct 07 17:22:12 * Topic for #psychology set by zcrayfish at Thu Oct 4 00:38:08 2012
Oct 07 17:22:42 * chalcedny gives voice to lilsuperscip
Oct 07 17:23:34 * You are now known as lilSciPsyZ
Oct 07 17:23:42 * You are now known as lilsuperSciP
Oct 07 17:23:54 * You are now known as lilsuperSciP
Oct 07 17:24:02 * You are now known as lilsuperSciP
Oct 07 17:24:13 * You are now known as lilbigSciPsy
Oct 07 17:24:42 * You are now known as lilbgSciPsyZ
**** BEGIN LOGGING AT Sun Oct 7 17:25:45 2012
Oct 07 17:25:45 * Now talking on #psychology
Oct 07 17:25:45 * Topic for #psychology is: Welcome to #psychology - http://psychologyirc.com/ - discussion, reflection and respectful debate about psychology. No sex, religion, suicide, or political talk
Oct 07 17:25:45 * Topic for #psychology set by zcrayfish at Thu Oct 4 00:38:08 2012
Oct 07 17:25:46 * lilsuperscip (~firstname.lastname@example.org) has joined #psychology
Oct 07 17:26:08 * #psychology :Cannot change nickname while banned on channel or channel is moderated
Oct 07 17:26:16 * chalcedny gives voice to lilsuperscip
Oct 07 17:26:16 * chalcedny gives voice to lilsuperscip
Oct 07 17:26:31 * lilsuperscip is now known as lilbigSciPsy
Oct 07 17:26:31 * You are now known as lilbigSciPsy
Oct 07 17:28:08 * Disconnected ().
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Oct 07 17:30:36 * thecha is now known as TheCHa
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**** BEGIN LOGGING AT Sun Oct 7 19:16:48 2012
Oct 07 19:16:48 * Now talking on #psychology
Oct 07 19:16:48 * Topic for #psychology is: Welcome to #psychology - http://psychologyirc.com/ - discussion, reflection and respectful debate about psychology. No sex, religion, suicide, or political talk
Oct 07 19:16:48 * Topic for #psychology set by zcrayfish at Thu Oct 4 00:38:08 2012
Oct 07 19:17:09 * Disconnected ().
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**** BEGIN LOGGING AT Sun Oct 7 19:19:16 2012
Oct 07 19:19:16 * Now talking on #psychology
Oct 07 19:19:16 * Topic for #psychology is: Welcome to #psychology - http://psychologyirc.com/ - discussion, reflection and respectful debate about psychology. No sex, religion, suicide, or political talk
Oct 07 19:19:16 * Topic for #psychology set by zcrayfish at Thu Oct 4 00:38:08 2012
Oct 07 19:19:47 * chalcedny gives voice to lilbgscipsyZ
Oct 07 19:21:24 <lilbgscipsyZ> you keep giving me voice but i am stuck with words, but thank you i am back and back again chalcedny, after long-lost-and-profound transitions, i remember your good thoughts.
Oct 07 19:22:21 <lilbgscipsyZ> and irc finally is working like i typed|thought it would
Oct 07 19:27:36 * Le_Pseudo (~email@example.com) has joined #psychology
Oct 07 19:28:06 * chalcedny gives voice to Le_Pseudo
Oct 07 19:28:26 <Le_Pseudo> Hi
Oct 07 19:29:18 <lilbgscipsyZ> hhi
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Oct 07 19:33:49 * Disconnected (Connection reset by peer).
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**** BEGIN LOGGING AT Sun Oct 7 19:35:24 2012
Oct 07 19:35:24 * Now talking on #psychology
Oct 07 19:35:24 * Topic for #psychology is: Welcome to #psychology - http://psychologyirc.com/ - discussion, reflection and respectful debate about psychology. No sex, religion, suicide, or political talk
Oct 07 19:35:24 * Topic for #psychology set by zcrayfish at Thu Oct 4 00:38:08 2012
Oct 07 19:35:55 * chalcedny gives voice to lilbgscipsyZ
Oct 07 19:36:42 <lilbgscipsyZ> i dont know why i got disconnected / connection reset by peer. i was about to type...
Oct 07 19:36:52 <lilbgscipsyZ> it is so quiet in psychotherapy . it is like here.
Oct 07 19:37:51 <lilbgscipsyZ> i really wanted psychotherapy to activate everything more i guess.
Oct 07 19:40:34 <lilbgscipsyZ> no drug really forced into me a sense of real that i needed, and i dont know if should type or think or...
Oct 07 19:41:14 <lilbgscipsyZ> drug legal or illegal or emotional states like drugs, all real, i am a bit off put by, tho lov and understand it i try...
Oct 07 19:42:00 <lilbgscipsyZ> it took me 25 years to understand i should be on hormones not drugs... i guess that is part...
Oct 07 19:42:41 <lilbgscipsyZ> 5yrs+ 1+ 1+ 1+ 1 + 1 diff therapists since 0day
Oct 07 19:43:27 <lilbgscipsyZ> if i dont know who i am with all that help and thinking and understanding and feeling i am really asking just once if anyone might know what i daresay or darefeel.
Oct 07 19:44:17 <lilbgscipsyZ> cause i dont know anybody else who has not shut me down with all sorts of lexicons and reals i lived through and still live through.
Oct 07 19:45:43 <lilbgscipsyZ> real just got real on irc and on my mind heart whatever it is really everyday that i am going through that same repetition of whatdadadadawha?
Oct 07 19:45:51 <lilbgscipsyZ> i will stop here.
Oct 07 19:47:36 <lilbgscipsyZ> like i do... and listen.
Oct 07 19:48:45 * Notify: chalcedny is online (UnderNet).
Oct 07 19:52:59 * dice3510 (firstname.lastname@example.org) has joined #psychology
Oct 07 19:53:29 * chalcedny gives voice to dice3510
Oct 07 19:53:41 <lilbgscipsyZ> my therapist tells me not to stop, so okay please stop me someone. it is all pain for me. it is all real. i know everyone else i am like is feeling like that, but i want to have a psychological dialogue in psychotherapy that is normal not unusual as i think/feel/i was ((not) meant to?
Oct 07 19:54:10 <lilbgscipsyZ> like i thought that is what it is about, but something was not there?
Oct 07 19:54:37 <lilbgscipsyZ> i am maybe missing ... i may miss it.
Oct 07 19:56:14 <lilbgscipsyZ> ya i feel and think a lot, but that is all so real to everyone and everything i read about people psychological needs.
Oct 07 19:58:06 <lilbgscipsyZ> i came here before as misalias and i still feeling missing and real.
Oct 07 19:58:44 <lilbgscipsyZ> i came here a lot and i am so happy i did and i did not come here to fight.
Oct 07 19:58:53 <lilbgscipsyZ> i came here to be real.
Oct 07 19:59:10 <lilbgscipsyZ> so thank you for listening.
Oct 07 20:00:24 <lilbgscipsyZ> quiet really kills me, it reminds me i am still not here, and my voice is a little better, but i need professional voices and understanding with all that i think and feel
Oct 07 20:01:24 <lilbgscipsyZ> trauma and real and everyday and we all can understand but who has any idea what i am really asking for, or is it not real?
Oct 07 20:02:20 <lilbgscipsyZ> i am pretty dead inside inside a chat room and inside a lot of memories and real real real real yes and no real real real still.
Oct 07 20:02:49 <lilbgscipsyZ> so i thought i should share once, not abuse?
Oct 07 20:04:26 <lilbgscipsyZ> i am okay now, and others are not, and i am really asking for a real lot, but something feels wrong and right about what i am telling my psychotherapists and random anon blogs and posts everywhere.
Oct 07 20:04:45 * Lissa` (~Heretik@bas1-montreal42-1177928676.dsl.bell.ca) has joined #psychology
Oct 07 20:05:15 * chalcedny gives voice to Lissa`
Oct 07 20:06:05 <lilbgscipsyZ> i read that people can pass out from screaming at Beatles, and i might pass out thinking and feeling about myself.
Oct 07 20:06:21 <lilbgscipsyZ> it is pretty real, but i am ok and breathing and survive real.
Oct 07 20:07:02 <lilbgscipsyZ> it is like gagging but it is more real. that not having words to say exactly what i am not and am together.
Oct 07 20:07:09 <lilbgscipsyZ> so i type once it all out.
Oct 07 20:07:15 <lilbgscipsyZ> together
Oct 07 20:07:20 <lilbgscipsyZ> rite...
Oct 07 20:07:40 <lilbgscipsyZ> i want kids, i dont want that.
Oct 07 20:08:06 <lilbgscipsyZ> i want time, *, ..., &&^*&%#@#i, i dont want that.
Oct 07 20:08:33 * X gives channel operator status to zdo zcrayfish
Oct 07 20:08:56 <Le_Pseudo> Who are you discussing with?
Oct 07 20:08:59 <lilbgscipsyZ> i want real, no no no no oh no you dont want that
Oct 07 20:09:07 <lilbgscipsyZ> with anyone who might stop me.
Oct 07 20:09:12 <lilbgscipsyZ> for a first.
Oct 07 20:09:16 * dice (email@example.com) has joined #psychology
Oct 07 20:09:24 * zdo gives voice to dice
Oct 07 20:09:27 <lilbgscipsyZ> or stop that feeling.
Oct 07 20:09:35 <zcrayfish> WTF
Oct 07 20:09:40 <lilbgscipsyZ> yes.
Oct 07 20:09:43 * Received a CTCP VERSION from zcrayfish
Oct 07 20:09:44 <lilbgscipsyZ> that is how i feel. everyday.
Oct 07 20:09:46 <Le_Pseudo> Lol
Oct 07 20:09:48 <lilbgscipsyZ> i tell.
Oct 07 20:09:52 <lilbgscipsyZ> i kow...
Oct 07 20:09:55 <lilbgscipsyZ> sry real..
Oct 07 20:10:00 <lilbgscipsyZ> sad but true..
Oct 07 20:10:06 <Le_Pseudo> Zcrayfish reaction*
Oct 07 20:10:22 <zcrayfish> I'm highly entertaining
Oct 07 20:10:24 <lilbgscipsyZ> lolu thank you i wish i had more letters to express feelings
Oct 07 20:10:24 <zcrayfish> ;D
Oct 07 20:10:45 <zcrayfish> lilbgscipsyZ: add other languages scripts to your text...
Oct 07 20:10:51 <zcrayfish> Cyrillic... they have some good ones.
Oct 07 20:10:51 <zcrayfish> ;)
Oct 07 20:10:55 <Le_Pseudo> Definitelly
Oct 07 20:10:59 <lilbgscipsyZ> oh, interesting, i never thought.
Oct 07 20:11:47 <Le_Pseudo> Hehe
Oct 07 20:12:02 <Le_Pseudo> Funny.
Oct 07 20:12:10 <lilbgscipsyZ> sad characters in unicode and with such real unicorns.
Oct 07 20:12:53 * dice3510 has quit (Ping timeout)
Oct 07 20:12:57 <lilbgscipsyZ> language is not fixing my feelings. i am sorry to harp too much if it is harping out of real.
Oct 07 20:13:34 <lilbgscipsyZ> maybe language could... i dont know..
Oct 07 20:13:55 <Le_Pseudo> I like pizza.
Oct 07 20:14:14 <lilbgscipsyZ> pizza would just kill how i feel and maybe i will forget it again
Oct 07 20:14:35 <lilbgscipsyZ> likely, tho i like pizzzza more than psy Z oooops i did not say that.
Oct 07 20:17:07 * lilbgscipsyZ eats Le_Pseudo pizza or is it pizza? pizza and sits and thinks and feels.
Oct 07 20:18:31 <lilbgscipsyZ> my heart is still beating. words are beating out of me. words beating out me.
Oct 07 20:19:06 <lilbgscipsyZ> i have lived legally and legally, i do not abuse people and i remember abuse everyday.
Oct 07 20:19:16 <lilbgscipsyZ> so i should stop and tell once?
Oct 07 20:19:18 <lilbgscipsyZ> or stop?
Oct 07 20:20:19 <lilbgscipsyZ> i feeel it is illegal to ask what i am asking in psychotherapy.
Oct 07 20:20:25 <lilbgscipsyZ> so i am asking where to ask maybe.
Oct 07 20:20:48 <lilbgscipsyZ> i keep asking myself, and maybe i should stop.
Oct 07 20:21:24 <lilbgscipsyZ> it is far too real to not force a lil words out right now tho, if i am let out here.
Oct 07 20:22:28 <lilbgscipsyZ> i am so real it hurts, we all know how that feels, so let us start there if you want... we need to feel that.
Oct 07 20:22:48 <lilbgscipsyZ> we felt that everyday.
Oct 07 20:22:54 <lilbgscipsyZ> every day.
Oct 07 20:23:38 <lilbgscipsyZ> i felt it. it was very real. it had touch and sense and all. good and bad it is real to me and others.
Oct 07 20:23:49 <lilbgscipsyZ> so what am i asking?
Oct 07 20:24:54 <lilbgscipsyZ> asking anon anot areal so silly right? left out i will go away.. i can live with that, i have and will.
Oct 07 20:25:13 <lilbgscipsyZ> in peoples/family everything|hearts|minds i am gone already
Oct 07 20:25:22 <lilbgscipsyZ> i dont have to start there, but we often do
Oct 07 20:26:09 <lilbgscipsyZ> realicide... feeels. go feel away.
Oct 07 20:26:15 <lilbgscipsyZ> i can do that right here.
Oct 07 20:26:29 <lilbgscipsyZ> i want better words.
Oct 07 20:26:40 <lilbgscipsyZ> i want to try, maybe, or something new, better, why? not?
Oct 07 20:27:28 <lilbgscipsyZ> it is sickening hormones feelings thoughts that we feel everyday and we do not presidentially have a say? who is? i? i did not say. was i?
Oct 07 20:27:39 * zcrayfish has changed the topic to: Welcome to #psychology - http://psychologyirc.com/ - No sex, religion, suicide, or political talk - Is nail biting related to OCD? http://n.pr/Sttak7
Oct 07 20:27:48 <lilbgscipsyZ> sorry
Oct 07 20:27:52 <lilbgscipsyZ> that is a good limit
Oct 07 20:28:02 <lilbgscipsyZ> can i keep trying?
Oct 07 20:28:10 <lilbgscipsyZ> i will go slow.
Oct 07 20:28:22 <lilbgscipsyZ> i think real people are here.
Oct 07 20:28:57 <lilbgscipsyZ> i am not real is how i feel. maybe that's it. what is that?
Oct 07 20:29:10 <lilbgscipsyZ> oh yes...
Oct 07 20:29:15 <lilbgscipsyZ> but dont think that my psy says...
Oct 07 20:29:20 <zdo> lilbgscipsyZ True flexible yet critical freedom proceeds from examining straightforwardness, not indifference.
Oct 07 20:29:26 <lilbgscipsyZ> psy'sss...
Oct 07 20:29:35 <lilbgscipsyZ> hmm
Oct 07 20:29:59 <lilbgscipsyZ> i am trying to share more connected by being here and asking zdo to help
Oct 07 20:30:10 <lilbgscipsyZ> i am trying to connect like that too
Oct 07 20:30:27 <zdo> Can there be any doubt? I embrace practical, truthful freedom, and you obviously do not.
Oct 07 20:30:45 <lilbgscipsyZ> science and psychology do not either?
Oct 07 20:31:22 <lilbgscipsyZ> i am not trying to fight, my mind is alive... i can stop anywhere.
Oct 07 20:31:39 <lilbgscipsyZ> i want to stop what is stopping me.
Oct 07 20:33:42 <lilbgscipsyZ> i feel like an inculcation, if that were a disease i would terminovictimize myself.
Oct 07 20:34:29 <lilbgscipsyZ> again, psy doesn't say anything in my life experience there.
Oct 07 20:34:35 <lilbgscipsyZ> or sci.
Oct 07 20:35:06 <zdo> Read, people.
Oct 07 20:35:18 <lilbgscipsyZ> i may not understand.
Oct 07 20:35:25 <lilbgscipsyZ> really.
Oct 07 20:35:34 <zdo> I have revealed substantial documentation of this fact.
Oct 07 20:35:58 <lilbgscipsyZ> ah
Oct 07 20:36:02 * dice is now known as dice3510
Oct 07 20:36:09 <lilbgscipsyZ> by read you means research :)
Oct 07 20:37:40 <lilbgscipsyZ> if straightforwardness means direction means Go There means what i think and feel, maybe we are on a same page somewhere, but a lil lost?
Oct 07 20:37:54 <lilbgscipsyZ> i have too many words, i am trying to cut back.
Oct 07 20:38:28 <lilbgscipsyZ> i feel like a joke and i am a joke in so many words.
Oct 07 20:38:54 <lilbgscipsyZ> i am not trying to force words
Oct 07 20:39:38 <zdo> Think about the tyranny, shameful and orthodox, and how it compares with clear subtlety.
Oct 07 20:40:00 <lilbgscipsyZ> oh viva la differance
Oct 07 20:40:31 <lilbgscipsyZ> i feel both together?
Oct 07 20:40:50 <lilbgscipsyZ> are both together?
Oct 07 20:41:53 <lilbgscipsyZ> transtogether?
Oct 07 20:42:17 <lilbgscipsyZ> i am funny but i am not, so lil words.
Oct 07 20:45:05 <Morolap> evening
Oct 07 20:45:12 <lilbgscipsyZ> evening
Oct 07 20:45:39 <lilbgscipsyZ> evenout? :)
Oct 07 20:45:51 <Morolap> no, I'm inside
Oct 07 20:45:52 * CGold (~firstname.lastname@example.org) has joined #psychology
Oct 07 20:45:53 <Morolap> :)
Oct 07 20:45:58 * zdo gives voice to CGold
Oct 07 20:45:59 <lilbgscipsyZ> ohs.
Oct 07 20:46:04 <Morolap> hi CGold
Oct 07 20:46:34 <zdo> Read, people.
Oct 07 20:46:38 <zdo> You would prefer the lacking in support prejudice to realism.
Oct 07 20:46:51 <lilbgscipsyZ> reword me better?
Oct 07 20:47:02 <lilbgscipsyZ> i will beg for better words if i can.
Oct 07 20:47:19 <lilbgscipsyZ> realism is everyday words
Oct 07 20:47:28 <lilbgscipsyZ> and words are not that all, clearly
Oct 07 20:47:34 <lilbgscipsyZ> so what do you do?
Oct 07 20:47:45 <Morolap> I make music
Oct 07 20:47:47 <Morolap> what do you do?
Oct 07 20:47:51 <CGold> Hey Morolap
Oct 07 20:47:54 <lilbgscipsyZ> i do what i am doing now
Oct 07 20:47:58 <CGold> And everyone.
Oct 07 20:47:58 <Morolap> that's all?
Oct 07 20:48:01 <Morolap> seems like a lot of words
Oct 07 20:48:09 <zcrayfish> CGold: Ubuntu is trying to eat me.
Oct 07 20:48:10 <lilbgscipsyZ> it is, and it is good and bad.
Oct 07 20:48:19 <Morolap> how are you CGold?
Oct 07 20:48:22 <barilo> lilbgscipsyZ: what are you talking about?
Oct 07 20:48:39 <lilbgscipsyZ> barilo, what are you asking about?
Oct 07 20:48:55 <barilo> i'm asking you what you are talking about
Oct 07 20:48:55 <CGold> I'm well, and yourself?
Oct 07 20:48:58 <zcrayfish> zcrayfish, what are you talking about?
Oct 07 20:48:59 <zcrayfish> wait, wut?
Oct 07 20:49:03 <Morolap> lol
Oct 07 20:49:05 <lilbgscipsyZ> lol
Oct 07 20:49:13 <zcrayfish> =)
Oct 07 20:49:15 <Morolap> doing well, have to survive tomorrow
Oct 07 20:49:20 <barilo> lilbgscipsyZ: well, can you address it without changing the subject?
Oct 07 20:49:24 <lilbgscipsyZ> welol welive
Oct 07 20:49:28 <CGold> zcrayfish: Ubuntu is apparently into vore!
Oct 07 20:49:37 <lilbgscipsyZ> i dont know what you mean really
Oct 07 20:49:40 <zcrayfish> heh
Oct 07 20:49:45 <lilbgscipsyZ> my words have diff mean than yours?
Oct 07 20:49:56 <barilo> i dont know what you mean really
Oct 07 20:50:04 <lilbgscipsyZ> so that is why i asked pros
Oct 07 20:50:09 <lilbgscipsyZ> and my pro said ask more pros
Oct 07 20:50:11 <Morolap> lilbgscipsyZ: I think he's referring to all that stuff you just posted
Oct 07 20:50:19 <zcrayfish> What pros?
Oct 07 20:50:20 <Morolap> what brings you here, lilbgscipsyZ
Oct 07 20:50:28 <lilbgscipsyZ> ah
Oct 07 20:50:34 <lilbgscipsyZ> ok ok
Oct 07 20:50:51 <Morolap> in 10 words or less to start :D
Oct 07 20:51:00 <lilbgscipsyZ> i am doing a lot and a lot of what i am doing is superencouraged.
Oct 07 20:51:05 <lilbgscipsyZ> end
Oct 07 20:51:17 <Morolap> by whom?
Oct 07 20:51:40 <lilbgscipsyZ> psychotherapist, social worker, friends, friends, friends, likes on Quora, likes on fb, etc?
Oct 07 20:51:43 <Morolap> and that was more than 10 words
Oct 07 20:51:50 <lilbgscipsyZ> swy
Oct 07 20:52:33 <Morolap> so they all told you to come on irc and type random words?
Oct 07 20:52:39 <lilbgscipsyZ> you call me random
Oct 07 20:52:47 <lilbgscipsyZ> people call me people more sometimes.
Oct 07 20:52:56 <barilo> seems like a troll to me.
Oct 07 20:52:57 <Morolap> unless you wish to clarify anythign you've said and engage in a conversation, yes
Oct 07 20:52:59 <zcrayfish> Spurious.
Oct 07 20:53:02 <lilbgscipsyZ> i will sto
Oct 07 20:53:08 <lilbgscipsyZ> stop
Oct 07 20:53:09 <Morolap> p
Oct 07 20:53:12 <Morolap> :)
Oct 07 20:53:14 <lilbgscipsyZ> :)
Oct 07 20:53:30 <lilbgscipsyZ> was i allowed to do that is my final question and story end.
Oct 07 20:53:38 <zcrayfish> :)
Oct 07 20:53:44 <Morolap> allowed to do what
Oct 07 20:53:45 <lilbgscipsyZ> :)
Oct 07 20:53:48 <lilbgscipsyZ> hah
Oct 07 20:53:49 <Morolap> rant?
Oct 07 20:53:51 <lilbgscipsyZ> lol
Oct 07 20:54:09 <Morolap> ranting is discouraged
Oct 07 20:55:03 <lilbgscipsyZ> allowed to make it laughable, somewhat is how it can feel, for anyone walking into here or psychotherapy. i do not think it is a rant, or i wouldn't have asked. i am making a stand, but i am sitting down after my turn... so we are good?
Oct 07 20:55:36 <lilbgscipsyZ> i am being told to stop is how it feels, but if that is a personal feeling i do not know.
Oct 07 20:56:01 <Morolap> you are being told to engage in conversations rather than spouting lots of words that dont' seem to have a point
Oct 07 20:56:13 <Morolap> is that clear
Oct 07 20:56:14 <Morolap> ?
Oct 07 20:56:24 <lilbgscipsyZ> hmm
Oct 07 20:56:26 <lilbgscipsyZ> i like that
Oct 07 20:56:37 <lilbgscipsyZ> i needed to hear that and so do we alll.
Oct 07 20:57:21 <Morolap> so where are you from lilbgscipsyZ ?
Oct 07 20:57:27 <Morolap> I'm looking for a country name in an answer
Oct 07 20:57:36 <Morolap> or at least continent or hemisphere
Oct 07 20:57:50 <lilbgscipsyZ> "greater washington dc area" a.k.a. Wheaton but live in Montreal, Quebec, Canada.
Oct 07 20:58:11 <lilbgscipsyZ> i live in public, so i am not hiding from myself.
Oct 07 20:58:28 <Morolap> that's good. We're not hiding from you either.
Oct 07 20:58:32 * Morolap is in fl
Oct 07 20:58:36 <lilbgscipsyZ> :) nice
Oct 07 20:58:43 <Morolap> usually
Oct 07 20:58:46 <Morolap> a bit rainy atm
Oct 07 20:58:50 <lilbgscipsyZ> loll
Oct 07 20:59:51 <lilbgscipsyZ> lolless in rain tho fo sur
Oct 07 21:00:16 <Morolap> thus why I'm inside
Oct 07 21:00:38 <lilbgscipsyZ> i feel like a troll still, i dont know if i am inside or outside.
Oct 07 21:01:04 <zcrayfish> afk
Oct 07 21:01:11 <Morolap> if you have a roof over your head, you're inside
Oct 07 21:01:19 <lilbgscipsyZ> i am inside, finally.
Oct 07 21:01:28 <Morolap> :)
Oct 07 21:01:32 <lilbgscipsyZ> good right.
Oct 07 21:01:34 <lilbgscipsyZ> ya
Oct 07 21:02:21 <Morolap> if you haven't done so already, I recommend reading the rules in the url in the topic
Oct 07 21:03:05 <lilbgscipsyZ> it is uncomfortable to be here if you grow up in a religious, suicidal, political family narrative. i dont want to be banned for repeating words in your topic. i am real, and i can prove it.
Oct 07 21:03:23 <lilbgscipsyZ> i will leave if asked or stop entirely when asked
Oct 07 21:03:30 <lilbgscipsyZ> but please dont ban me again
Oct 07 21:03:46 <Morolap> well
Oct 07 21:03:48 <lilbgscipsyZ> it hurts
Oct 07 21:03:57 <Morolap> religion is allowed, if you are tlaking about your own experiences
Oct 07 21:04:03 <lilbgscipsyZ> i am
Oct 07 21:04:05 <lilbgscipsyZ> very
Oct 07 21:04:08 <Morolap> but making fun of someone's religion or debating isn't allowed
Oct 07 21:04:12 <Morolap> that's a different channel
Oct 07 21:04:16 <lilbgscipsyZ> i am not, or i am making fun of myself
Oct 07 21:04:24 <lilbgscipsyZ> and i do not
Oct 07 21:04:35 <lilbgscipsyZ> i need not laugh at myself any longer?
Oct 07 21:05:02 <Morolap> I think it's healthy to be able to laugh at yourself
Oct 07 21:05:06 <lilbgscipsyZ> i do too
Oct 07 21:05:09 <lilbgscipsyZ> hah :)
Oct 07 21:05:21 <lilbgscipsyZ> oops :( back to :)
Oct 07 21:05:58 <Morolap> so why did you come to #psychology?
Oct 07 21:06:40 <lilbgscipsyZ> because i am out of air everywhere i go, except that here is a combination of psychotherapy and technology i am more familiar and was grown up with so.
Oct 07 21:07:02 <lilbgscipsyZ> more than i can word right now because i dont feel good words
Oct 07 21:07:25 <Morolap> what do you mean "out of air"
Oct 07 21:07:39 <Morolap> we do not do psychotherapy here, btw
Oct 07 21:08:27 <lilbgscipsyZ> i have gone to refuge, sanctuary, shelters real. i mean i am trying to connnect my life to what i am talking about and why i am talking about it here is important because even if not psychotherapy it is what we are left with, all us who need a little more than there.
Oct 07 21:08:55 <lilbgscipsyZ> i am here because there is nowhere else or i would not beg to not be blocked
Oct 07 21:09:08 <Morolap> this is a good place for reflection
Oct 07 21:09:14 <lilbgscipsyZ> very
Oct 07 21:09:17 <lilbgscipsyZ> very very
Oct 07 21:09:28 <lilbgscipsyZ> we all can see ourselves reflect|ion
Oct 07 21:09:37 <Morolap> but to reflect, it is best to talk to someone else
Oct 07 21:09:51 <Morolap> otherwise you can create your own channel with only you in it and type away
Oct 07 21:10:02 <Morolap> so there is something in the telling someone what's going on
Oct 07 21:10:28 <lilbgscipsyZ> yes, and what people do you talk to? i come to a channel, i come to my first of many new psychotherapists and i am asked to explain more, and leave if i can't?
Oct 07 21:10:52 <lilbgscipsyZ> it is how i feel and why i didn't.
Oct 07 21:11:00 <lilbgscipsyZ> ::shameface::
Oct 07 21:11:04 <Morolap> is English your first language?
Oct 07 21:11:07 <lilbgscipsyZ> yes
Oct 07 21:11:13 <Morolap> then there is no problem
Oct 07 21:11:39 <Morolap> what issues are you strugging with? You don't have to share if you don't want to
Oct 07 21:11:43 <Morolap> *struggling
Oct 07 21:12:09 <lilbgscipsyZ> i need to know what to do without people not speaking but telling and pushing and liking me
Oct 07 21:12:50 <Morolap> what do you mean? Can you give a specific example of where this happened?
Oct 07 21:14:51 <lilbgscipsyZ> good question. i am ready but do not know if appropriate to share my links and etc right now.
Oct 07 21:15:05 <Morolap> links?
Oct 07 21:15:11 <Morolap> I don't wish to read diatribes
Oct 07 21:15:21 <Morolap> sorry
Oct 07 21:15:45 <Morolap> but if you ever wish to talk when I'm here, I will listen :)
Oct 07 21:16:02 <lilbgscipsyZ> i dont know where to start, and there is a lot, and how do you start is my question. www.quora.com/Gabriel-Gaston-Croft is origin of a lot of my heat (or heart if you feel)
Oct 07 21:16:12 <lilbgscipsyZ> i get private messages of support and likes all around random
Oct 07 21:16:31 <lilbgscipsyZ> but i need someone by likes of us all here to listen live more than that
Oct 07 21:16:37 <lilbgscipsyZ> something has been missing
Oct 07 21:16:37 <Morolap> like I said, I'm not really interested in reading links...
Oct 07 21:16:43 <lilbgscipsyZ> ok
Oct 07 21:16:49 <lilbgscipsyZ> well maybe that is all i needed
Oct 07 21:16:51 <Morolap> I want to hear what you have to say
Oct 07 21:16:53 <lilbgscipsyZ> really
Oct 07 21:17:01 <Morolap> when you are ready to talk
Oct 07 21:17:04 <Morolap> if you ever are
Oct 07 21:17:10 <Morolap> I'm not pressuring you to talk btw
Oct 07 21:17:16 <Morolap> so please don't feel I am
Oct 07 21:17:18 <lilbgscipsyZ> i know, i trust that here
Oct 07 21:17:23 <lilbgscipsyZ> i dont
Oct 07 21:17:45 <Morolap> some poeple come and just observe in here, and that is acceptable too
Oct 07 21:17:58 <Morolap> those that wish to share can be helping others without even knowing it
Oct 07 21:18:14 <lilbgscipsyZ> yes i was misalias for some time and anonymous before that
Oct 07 21:18:38 <lilbgscipsyZ> you are free again, i am really happy with what happened and just maybe needed that to start.
Oct 07 21:19:24 <Morolap> ok
Oct 07 21:20:57 <lilbgscipsyZ> words take out a lot of air, i think i just breathed again
Oct 07 21:21:32 <Morolap> you can breathe and type...
Oct 07 21:21:41 <lilbgscipsyZ> no way
Oct 07 21:22:31 <Morolap> seriously
Oct 07 21:22:50 <lilbgscipsyZ> i am trying to breath and type more. sadly i think i unconsciously question you, but i want to be more conscious too.
Oct 07 21:23:19 <lilbgscipsyZ> breathing and typing is crazy tho
Oct 07 21:25:05 <lilbgscipsyZ> i think and feel topic rules could better help as "no .... talk if it harms us, you, or anyone in anyway, we will ask you to stop" ...
Oct 07 21:25:38 <lilbgscipsyZ> because a lot of people with those words you say no before need to be here as free as possible
Oct 07 21:25:44 <Morolap> if you go to the url it does explain that pretty clearly
Oct 07 21:26:13 <lilbgscipsyZ> i will show my child to say i act like everyone else and see a big sign
Oct 07 21:26:25 <lilbgscipsyZ> feels like no
Oct 07 21:26:31 <Morolap> well
Oct 07 21:26:40 <Morolap> you are free to make your own channel, as I have said
Oct 07 21:26:46 <Morolap> and then you can do as you wish with it
Oct 07 21:27:06 <lilbgscipsyZ> i know, i just thought i could share in group.
Oct 07 21:27:25 <lilbgscipsyZ> i like we have a clearer memory of what we do say.
Oct 07 21:27:26 <Morolap> share your opinion about our rules?
Oct 07 21:27:29 <lilbgscipsyZ> yes
Oct 07 21:27:31 <Morolap> you can, but we probably won't listen
Oct 07 21:27:34 <lilbgscipsyZ> :)
Oct 07 21:27:42 <lilbgscipsyZ> psy'z never do
Oct 07 21:27:52 <Morolap> I'm not a psychologist
Oct 07 21:27:57 <Morolap> or anything related
Oct 07 21:28:14 <lilbgscipsyZ> i feel we all have a lil psy inside eventho it is not all of us.
Oct 07 21:30:10 <lilbgscipsyZ> it is good and bad to have sometimes
Oct 07 21:31:15 <Morolap> most people define a psychologist as someone who has degrees in psychology at the very least
Oct 07 21:31:33 <Morolap> so I dont' have a little psychologist with degrees inside of me
Oct 07 21:31:46 <lilbgscipsyZ> i think of all lil kids who go to psychotherapy and need to remember, what was said, and what is real.
Oct 07 21:31:59 <lilbgscipsyZ> and all superheroes who do not do that at all.
Oct 07 21:32:19 <Morolap> who is a superhero?
Oct 07 21:32:31 <lilbgscipsyZ> superhero|gov|parent|etc?
Oct 07 21:32:47 <Morolap> those are 3 very different things
Oct 07 21:32:57 <Morolap> people need people
Oct 07 21:32:58 <lilbgscipsyZ> we go through each everyday
Oct 07 21:33:02 <Morolap> sometimes, they need professionals to help them
Oct 07 21:33:12 <Morolap> sometimes, they just need people that care about them
Oct 07 21:33:40 <lilbgscipsyZ> sometimes, they need inner pro super heroic help inside them.
Oct 07 21:33:47 <lilbgscipsyZ> a belief or whatnot.
Oct 07 21:33:52 <lilbgscipsyZ> a ego?
Oct 07 21:34:26 <Morolap> I don't go for freud
Oct 07 21:34:34 <lilbgscipsyZ> i dont like freud either
Oct 07 21:35:48 <lilbgscipsyZ> i dont like psychology either sometimes but we need
Oct 07 21:36:50 <lilbgscipsyZ> a lil?
Oct 07 21:37:06 <Morolap> my experiences with psychology have been positive
Oct 07 21:37:18 <lilbgscipsyZ> me too, and negative too.
Oct 07 21:37:20 <Morolap> but not too in-depth
Oct 07 21:37:25 <Morolap> more reflective, that's all
Oct 07 21:37:28 <lilbgscipsyZ> ah, in-depth and out of depth for me
Oct 07 21:37:31 <lilbgscipsyZ> ah
Oct 07 21:37:33 <lilbgscipsyZ> good
Oct 07 21:37:41 <Morolap> I had a somewhat bad experience with a therapist, but they weren't a psychologist
Oct 07 21:37:49 <lilbgscipsyZ> not everyone can be
Oct 07 21:38:00 <Morolap> and mostly it was bad because of who I went with
Oct 07 21:38:20 <lilbgscipsyZ> yes, i feel your pain and new knowledge
Oct 07 21:38:23 <lilbgscipsyZ> very real
Oct 07 21:38:37 <Morolap> it all turned out alright, so it;s fine :)
Oct 07 21:38:39 <Morolap> but thanks
Oct 07 21:39:02 <Morolap> but there are a few rotten apples in every field
Oct 07 21:39:09 <Morolap> doesn't mean the field itself is worthless
Oct 07 21:39:17 <lilbgscipsyZ> haha, well for me too, i am talking a lot more here because my psy is well, very, focusing with me.
Oct 07 21:39:40 <Morolap> as it should be
Oct 07 21:39:41 <lilbgscipsyZ> i like good apples and bad apples.
Oct 07 21:40:13 <lilbgscipsyZ> focusing like a laser beammsssss tho, maybe i need to turn it downa lil
Oct 07 21:40:38 <lilbgscipsyZ> for me psychotherapy is an intense trigger as well as healthy
Oct 07 21:41:29 <Morolap> well, if you're comfortable then perhaps it's not working
Oct 07 21:41:48 <Morolap> if it were an easy thing you wouldn't need them, afterall
Oct 07 21:42:34 <lilbgscipsyZ> haha, disturbing but healthy, my old psy said. psychotherapy can be disturbing but very real.
Oct 07 21:43:12 <lilbgscipsyZ> realing. i always like verbing psychological words.
Oct 07 21:43:16 <Morolap> it's also a process, and you do what you can with what you have
Oct 07 21:43:49 <lilbgscipsyZ> i want A - Z like A - B but that is not reality.
Oct 07 21:43:56 <lilbgscipsyZ> damn alphabet
Oct 07 21:44:07 <Morolap> sometimes its Q-E
Oct 07 21:44:16 <lilbgscipsyZ> yes, and dizz e
Oct 07 21:44:17 <Morolap> via B
Oct 07 21:44:26 <lilbgscipsyZ> lol b is over there?
Oct 07 21:44:36 <Morolap> b is all over the place
Oct 07 21:44:40 <Morolap> b is pretty screwed up
Oct 07 21:45:32 <lilbgscipsyZ> alpha beta we have to love each equally
Oct 07 21:45:48 <lilbgscipsyZ> all letters and all us.
Oct 07 21:46:21 <lilbgscipsyZ> it is just so hard to tell, ...for me
Oct 07 21:48:46 <Morolap> so do you have a job?
Oct 07 21:48:58 <lilbgscipsyZ> i am a job
Oct 07 21:49:03 <lilbgscipsyZ> and i have odd jobs
Oct 07 21:49:09 <lilbgscipsyZ> and real jobs
Oct 07 21:49:17 <lilbgscipsyZ> i am very linkedin
Oct 07 21:49:30 <Morolap> so you pay yourself?
Oct 07 21:49:49 <lilbgscipsyZ> with family
Oct 07 21:50:09 <lilbgscipsyZ> and with work
Oct 07 21:50:19 <lilbgscipsyZ> and with help and shelters and social supports
Oct 07 21:50:31 <lilbgscipsyZ> and i do not hide anything anywhere.
Oct 07 21:50:55 <Morolap> what do you like to do?
Oct 07 21:51:15 <lilbgscipsyZ> i can't even find myself most times, so i need time, space, energy, heart, mind, a shield? i want to word up people like me who never saw a word like that before.
Oct 07 21:51:23 <lilbgscipsyZ> i had no really role model
Oct 07 21:51:29 <lilbgscipsyZ> like what i am asking for.
Oct 07 21:51:56 <lilbgscipsyZ> i like what i am doing
Oct 07 21:52:05 <lilbgscipsyZ> right now especially, it is what i needed and need to do
Oct 07 21:52:10 <Morolap> words are only as good as the meaning behind them
Oct 07 21:52:20 <lilbgscipsyZ> yes, meaning is everything for me.
Oct 07 21:52:32 <lilbgscipsyZ> and meaning is maybe my 'objet petit a"
Oct 07 21:52:39 <lilbgscipsyZ> lost
Oct 07 21:53:19 <Morolap> is that why sometimes you seem to say random things?
Oct 07 21:53:29 <Morolap> you have trouble finding the words you need to express?
Oct 07 21:53:34 <lilbgscipsyZ> like, lost self sci psy real i etc?
Oct 07 21:53:38 <lilbgscipsyZ> like i can't talk normal?
Oct 07 21:53:39 <lilbgscipsyZ> but i do
Oct 07 21:53:42 <lilbgscipsyZ> that is why i suffer
Oct 07 21:53:46 <lilbgscipsyZ> i look real normal
Oct 07 21:53:49 <lilbgscipsyZ> i talk real normal
Oct 07 21:53:52 <lilbgscipsyZ> except if i am real
Oct 07 21:54:17 <Morolap> if you are real then you fail to communicate to others
Oct 07 21:54:24 <Morolap> and that is the meaning of words
Oct 07 21:54:34 <Morolap> not rhyming or making them up
Oct 07 21:54:39 <lilbgscipsyZ> but i am normal in each option there, only made more meaningless sometimes.
Oct 07 21:54:43 <lilbgscipsyZ> i am not making words up
Oct 07 21:54:45 <lilbgscipsyZ> that is why i suffer
Oct 07 21:55:09 <Morolap> I dont' understand
Oct 07 21:55:27 <Morolap> "realing" is a made up word
Oct 07 21:55:29 <lilbgscipsyZ> i know more than i let on, because i have asked for help before.... If i tell more, it gets clearer why I make sense.
Oct 07 21:55:31 <Morolap> at least with that spelling
Oct 07 21:55:40 <lilbgscipsyZ> yes, in your strict grammatical reality.
Oct 07 21:55:52 <lilbgscipsyZ> someone spoke about freedom before?
Oct 07 21:55:56 <Morolap> in the reality that uses the words of this language to mean certain things
Oct 07 21:56:01 <lilbgscipsyZ> yes.
Oct 07 21:56:09 <lilbgscipsyZ> science is carefully thought words.
Oct 07 21:56:10 <Morolap> without rules, there is chaos
Oct 07 21:56:16 <Morolap> and things dont' get better in chaos
Oct 07 21:56:24 <Morolap> a little bit is fine
Oct 07 21:56:44 <Morolap> but to do away with rules altogether would be a total breakdown of communication
Oct 07 21:57:03 <lilbgscipsyZ> i am not fretting like you are about that, i have been calmed down about my need to word.
Oct 07 21:57:09 <lilbgscipsyZ> i need to not judge my words.
Oct 07 21:57:14 <lilbgscipsyZ> people judge words.
Oct 07 21:57:17 <Morolap> I don't fret
Oct 07 21:57:19 <Morolap> :)
Oct 07 21:57:20 <lilbgscipsyZ> my words are too real.
Oct 07 21:57:25 <Morolap> I am jsut trying to understand
Oct 07 21:57:29 <lilbgscipsyZ> well i fret a bit for you :)
Oct 07 21:57:36 <lilbgscipsyZ> we all are
Oct 07 21:57:39 <Morolap> no need
Oct 07 21:58:09 <lilbgscipsyZ> good.
Oct 07 21:58:52 <Morolap> can I jsut say one thing and then we dont' have to discuss it, for I don't wish to make you fret
Oct 07 21:59:00 <lilbgscipsyZ> anything
Oct 07 21:59:20 <lilbgscipsyZ> say a hundred things.
Oct 07 21:59:52 <Morolap> but if words are meant to convey meaning, and you use words, and the other person who is trying to understand does not get your meaning, is that not a failing on the part of the communicator? And does that not indicate the communicator should try using different words until the desired meaning is conveyed?
Oct 07 22:00:00 <Morolap> again, assuming the listener is trying to understand
Oct 07 22:00:16 <lilbgscipsyZ> interesting, it is a common understanding problem.
Oct 07 22:00:34 <Morolap> perhaps it is common because it is right :)
Oct 07 22:00:43 <lilbgscipsyZ> i think my lexical reworking is in large part to reinforce understanding before meaning is lost.
Oct 07 22:00:48 <Morolap> is that not a plausible outcome?
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Oct 07 22:00:57 <lilbgscipsyZ> anti-psychotic wording.
Oct 07 22:01:09 <lilbgscipsyZ> ah...
Oct 07 22:01:28 <lilbgscipsyZ> right? like we need to think better and keep thinking better words?
Oct 07 22:01:41 <lilbgscipsyZ> and make sure we all understand eachother better?
Oct 07 22:02:08 <Morolap> I am a teacher, so if a student doesn't understand what I'm teaching, that is my fault, and I need to continue to try and find different ways to get the point across.
Oct 07 22:02:17 <Morolap> Failure to do so is failing at my job
Oct 07 22:02:18 <lilbgscipsyZ> my parents both teach
Oct 07 22:02:32 <lilbgscipsyZ> my family is a lesson
Oct 07 22:02:40 <Morolap> all parents teach
Oct 07 22:02:49 <Morolap> whether they try or not
Oct 07 22:02:55 <lilbgscipsyZ> so i am saying my words help me understand myself.
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Oct 07 22:03:12 <Morolap> ok, but what about the people around you?
Oct 07 22:03:19 <lilbgscipsyZ> people like my words
Oct 07 22:03:22 <lilbgscipsyZ> words are my force
Oct 07 22:03:26 <Morolap> btu do they understand the meaning
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Oct 07 22:03:32 <Morolap> *but
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Oct 07 22:03:46 <lilbgscipsyZ> yes, people understand more and more how more meanings are under my words in layers and stacks and underground.
Oct 07 22:04:03 <lilbgscipsyZ> like some psychologists have theorized about language and mind.
Oct 07 22:04:13 <Morolap> what have they theorized
Oct 07 22:04:17 <Morolap> ?
Oct 07 22:04:31 <Morolap> do you hide behind these layers of words?
Oct 07 22:04:47 <Morolap> do you fret to tell people clearly how you feel?
Oct 07 22:04:48 <lilbgscipsyZ> i wish i could share my specific writing about my wording.
Oct 07 22:05:03 <Morolap> you'll have to use words :)
Oct 07 22:05:04 <lilbgscipsyZ> you are attacking me for having no words somewhere.
Oct 07 22:05:14 <Morolap> am I attacking you?
Oct 07 22:05:26 <Morolap> I am asking questions, not making personal attacks
Oct 07 22:05:34 <Morolap> do you wish me to stop?
Oct 07 22:06:02 <lilbgscipsyZ> attacking not, that was a bad choice of words. i have words, i am not telling, i dont have to, and are real. and i think we are still together, dont stop.
Oct 07 22:06:16 <Morolap> well, actually, I must for it is bedtime
Oct 07 22:06:20 <lilbgscipsyZ> goodnight
Oct 07 22:06:23 <Morolap> good night
Oct 07 22:06:29 <Morolap> :)
Oct 07 22:06:34 <lilbgscipsyZ> :)
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